The Babies I Never Knew

FeaturedThe Babies I Never Knew

A heavy sorrow lies
With hidden grief and heavy sighs
Inside a broken soul
Disguised by smiles, and joyful eyes
Unable to feel, and unable to cry
Shattered dreams – will I ever be whole?

The day that phone rang
I would never be the same
No heartbeat the call
Who is to blame?
Not present, I feel ashamed
The tears begin to fall.

Desperately crying – I may drown!
A million hopes come crashing down
A mama’s boy? A daddy’s girl?
Be strong for her! Don’t show your frown
It isn’t fair! I spiral down
Blue eyes? Brown hair? Crushing thoughts swirl.

Pull it together! I must be strong
Holding her in tears, the silence feels prolonged
The death of two beautiful lives
How can we go on?
It is well – we sing a song
The words cut like knives.

Is it really well?
This all feels like hell
Emotions bottled and time slowly passes
Upper lip stiffened, I’m locked in a cell
No closure and no farewell
A lovely vision falls to ashes.

Off to the hospital she goes
Once I’m there, and one time no
There’s no hello and no goodbye
Finality hits with blow after blow
For me, only silence and dreadful woe
No hello, and no goodbye.

Time has now flown
Two kids have grown
Does time heal all wounds?
Two loves remain I have never known
Guilt I feel, and mistakes I own
Time does not heal all I conclude.

Heavy sorrow still lies
With open grief and heavy sighs
Inside a healing soul
Honest tears and sorrowful eyes
Beginning to feel, and starting to cry
This side of glory not whole.

Yet it is well with my soul
One heavenly day, my babies I’ll hold
For earth hath no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.